Quarter Life Crisis, Feeling Lost & Putting Too Much Pressure on Ourselves
When I was younger, I thought by 24 I’d have my own business and be living in a penthouse apartment in New York overlooking Central Park and spending my evenings drinking cocktails and dining at the fanciest of restaurants. In reality, I’m currently sat in my bedroom in Leeds working, constantly wondering why the money in my bank account just goes so quickly when I have nothing to show for it and well, a holiday to New York would be a dream let alone living there. I wanted to be married and have had my first child by 27 which is most definitely NOT happening because when I was younger, I guess I didn’t realise ALL the things I wanted to do before I got married and had children.
I sometimes feel like we’re brought up in a bubble where society expects us to have accomplished things by a certain age and when we haven’t, we compare our lives to someone who has accomplished it and wonder why we’re so behind. But what if we don’t want to accomplish those things by a certain age? Why do we feel like we have to have moved out by the time we’re 22 and be working our way up in a business? Why do we feel guilty if we sack it all off and go travelling round the world? As if, we shouldn’t possibly do that because it’s going to delay our career. The career that we will be doing ALL our lives.
My biggest fear in life is not being happy. I never ever want to look back on my life and regret not doing something. Admittedly there’s been a few things I wish I hadn’t done and a few paths I wish I hadn’t taken but like they say, “it’s better to regret something you have done than something you haven’t” but lately I guess I’ve been feeling a little lost. Or should I say stuck in a big FAT rut. Confused. Overwhelmed with life and just generally down?! Like that Monday morning feeling but all the time. I even googled quarter life crisis’ and I can totally relate to the symptoms. I feel like I’m at that age where I’m kind of stuck between being young and carefree where my only worries are what to wear at the weekend, which food will best cure my hangover and whether 3 Asos orders in 1 week is a bit too extravagant and the responsibilities of adulthood…I’m talking careers, bills, rent, relationships, saving, mortgages…*yawn*. One minute I’ll be sitting there feeling all nostalgic about high school wishing I was back there and then next thing I know I’ll be pinning interior pictures on my Pinterest, yearning for a house of my own.
Like how did I even get to 24? When did this happen? I’ve started to question things in my life that I never thought I would and started to worry about things more than ever. Part of me is suddenly so scared of making any wrong decisions and getting older and not achieving what I want to achieve or not being the person I want to be and the other part of me doesn’t get why we should worry so much about this and put so much pressure on ourselves all of the time. Which is obviously hard when we live in a world obsessed with social media where we compare ourselves and our lives to other people’s on a daily basis and wonder why they seem to be doing so much better than us. It’s so unhealthy. I hate social media for that reason. Despite the fact that the girl you’re looking at could have started out 5 years earlier than you have and so naturally is going to achieve their goals before you, you still compare and come away feeling disappointed and annoyed at life when really it should just spur us on and make us even more motivated. Anyway, enough of me ranting.
I guess I wanna give advice here for anyone who is sat there in their 20’s feeling the same and stuck in that big fat rut of life but the truth is, I’m not even sure? All I can say is that when I’ve spoken to people about it they can ALL relate. ‘Omg I feel exactly the same’, ‘Yes I have no clue what I’m doing’ and ‘I’m not sure this is what I want to do with my life’ and so on so we’re not alone. I love the quote “we’re all just winging it, some just do it more confidently”. Does anyone ever really know what’s next? Does anyone really 100% know what they’re doing in life? I took a bit of a break from blogging because I felt so unmotivated and uninspired that I didn’t even know what to write anymore so despite the guilt I felt at first, I decided to not write anything at all. And it felt SO good to have a break and just kinda sit there sometimes and not do anything and not feel guilty about it so I thought writing this post kinda made sense because this is how I’ve been feeling. We all have different goals and it takes us different amounts of time to achieve them, whether that’s out of choice or not but we have our whole lives to achieve this so what’s the rush? Why do we have to put so much pressure on ourselves that we feel down and miserable? We should take a step back and just enjoy it sometimes because like I said, time goes by so bloody quick so let’s just keep winging it…